I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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