no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize