yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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