I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
