There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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