TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How does one acquire holy water?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
