I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
