So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
