i think i have herpe
just one?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
