Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
