What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
