The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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