last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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