He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
