oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
