talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
