Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
