I wish my penis had an off switch
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Randomize
