The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
