I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
