if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
