after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
