Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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