I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
