I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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