Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
did i walk over a car last night?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
