ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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