YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
