i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
