I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The uberlube is also flammable
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
