Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
