Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
