it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
