if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
well, you know. whores of a feather.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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