I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Everyone says I win the strip club
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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