FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
