i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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