wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
