You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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