her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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