The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
