You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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