Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
