You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He felt like a one man threesome
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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