i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
