No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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