Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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