Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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