The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
