nut hugger
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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