He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i dont even know how to be here
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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