One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize