I could have mohawked her pubes.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
