Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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