So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize