ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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