you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
