Non-Jews are for practice
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
