I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
