Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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