i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
