Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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