i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
