i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
