After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
